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Man, everyone is jumping to the conclusion there’s an age gap. Have none of you met anyone that doesn’t look their age?
As an aside, my wife and I are 14 years apart. She’s the older one. Started dating when I was 23 (she was 37, so the “rule” would have put her limit at 25.5) and married for nearly a decade now.
Dick van dykes wife is 50 years younger right? Wild.
He gets a pass because everyone is a lot younger than him lol
To be fair to DVD, that’s most other people he meets.
Haha right he almost gets a pass. Still a bit odd
This would be my sister. She was 17 or so when she met the 40 y/o who she later had a kid with.
Gross
I agree, the weird thing is that this view seems to be changing among leftist people. I live in a very leftist area in a leftist city in a leftist country and the past ~5 years whenever the topic of age difference has come up among people my age (35) or younger it’s been increasingly “they’re both adults, nothing wrong about it”. And I just can’t agree, it grosses me out and feels wrong in the deepest parts of my soul. Yeah, they’re both adults (when it comes to the youngest being 18+) but that can’t be the only thing that decides if it is or feels wrong.
Yep. I’ve been nc for over a decade but I do wonder about how she is doing being his nurse these days.
Gross and sad
See that’s the problem with age differences.
If I tell you they are 23 years apart, you think “uhh”.
If I tell you they are 17 and 40, you think “UHHHHH”
Lets see if it applies to me:
Her and I are 11 years apart.
Her and I are 23 and 34.
Hmm.
Half the bigger age plus 7 for the younger.
40/2 + 7 = 27. 17 is ew
34/2 + 7 = 24. You’re just okay, but should feel bad in bed
Yeah look I haven’t gotten that far yet. Could I have? Almost certainly.
Well, yeah, of course that’s less bad. You’re both older and the difference is less
Ultimately a lot of it comes down to levels of maturity and the places ones are in their lives anyway. A 17 year old definitively can never be mature enough to have a healthy relationship with a 40 year old
When I worked at a restaurant we would occasionally play “America’s FAVORITE game show: DAUGHTER OR MISTRESS?”
You mean “Dad or Daddy?”
Please don’t tell me this. I already worry when I am out at places with my daughter without my wife.
🤣
There’s nothing wrong with being out with your daughter. The game is inspired by a 30 Rock scene where they say “I hope she’s his daughter” and then they kiss and it’s “I hope she’s his mistress!”
I went to my son’s back-to-school day once and brought my daughter with me (sophomore in high school at the time)
One of the teachers assumed out loud my daughter was the mother, and I don’t know how many other teachers assumed it without saying anything.
That was a deep and powerful cringe.
And if your in Alabama it could be both! If your in Appalachia it’s always both!
You’re*
The irony…
As a former Alabama resident(It was a free house, and I am not a wise woman), that “could be” isn’t needed. Same way it’s not “they could be on meth”, they’re from Alabama, they’re on meth.
I mean… I’m from Alabama and not on meth.
Are you In Alabama when you posted that comment?
I was indeed. And even then: not on meth!
Narrator: it turns out he was simultaneously both not in Alabama nor not on meth.
?
Yeah, the rumors about Triplett are true.
At dinner my husband and i often sit silently on our phones texting each other to play ‘What’s that relationship?’
I’m reminded of a time I was on a business trip to visit a remote office, and I had dinner with a woman that I worked with. Both of us are married, to other people, who were not present. We must have given off the right vibes, though, because the server asked if we wanted separate checks at the end.
Or maybe they thought the date had gone REALLY badly.
In restaurants. Not so much at home. Though i do have a friend whose husband left her for his step sister.
Family gatherings must be fun
“Good morning Mr. Belichick, how are you feeling today?”
As a 60 year old man that dates women in their mid-30s (I want children), I feel this post-it note.
Props for the honesty
Wanting children in your 60s is selfish. Not only do you put them at much higher risk for birth defects, but you likely won’t be around for most of their life
Things you can say on the internet but probably not to their face.
true but it is also true that the older the man the more likely it is he produces children with birth defects or genetic conditions
this has been historically blamed on women and it is now coming to light that old sperm isn’t good
Respect for saying this out loud.
But also just a bit yikes, but credit for not going younger than 30s
Ehhh…it breaks the half-plus-7 rule (I’d call 37 ‘late 30s’)…but it beats 20s. I’m only forty and I can barely relate to my 20-something BILs. I couldn’t imagine dating someone in their 20s, and not just because I’m happily married. The culture gap is so real. I could relate to X so much more than Z.
Still…even mid-30s doesn’t give much time to plant the seed before you have to worry about the first frost. You gotta sow while the soil is warm. Having your own kid is great and all but maybe look for a divorcee/widow with a toddler…
Same, I’m just getting to forty and the older I get the less dating someone half my age makes any kind of sense. I have patients that I have seen from their teens and they’re now in their mid twenties. Thinking about them as anything other than kids just seems unnatural and morally decrepit.
I honestly think dating someone half your age is much better at 40 than 20. Much much better
Also seems kinda cruel having a kid knowing you’ll statistically die before they even graduate high school.
If he met someone today and had a kid by 61 by the time that kid graduates high school he’d be 79.
My dad was 52 when I was born. Getting real tired of developing chronic conditions that are associated with advanced paternal age, ngl.
Statistically his mean life expectancy is ~20 years left. Keep in mind as you get older your life expectancy goes up since you’ve already survived what killed many others younger
He’d be expected to die shortly after sending his kid off to college
Fair point, gonna be a rough sophomore year of college then
Aging lies at the intersection of genetics and environment, which implies that 1) not everyone ages at the same rate, and 2) by optimizing the environment your body operates in (e.g., optimizing sleep, exercise, nutrition, supplements, and drugs ), you can optimize regeneration/repair and effectively slow the rate of aging. I’m lucky enough to have really good genetics for aging and I take exceptional care of myself, optimizing the above parameters, including the use of rapamycin. I have a long line of ancestors that have lived well into their 90s, even back in the 1700s, so I think there is a good chance my corpse will hold out long enough to see my offspring into adulthood.
Thank you for commenting. I always appreciate feedback. I’d honestly prefer to date someone a bit closer to my age, as it’s easier to have things in common. However, I’m exceptionally fit (my VO2max is 52), most of my friends are in their mid-40s, I’m very active, and have a couple of genetic SNPs associated with longevity, which I credit with how well I have aged. Most people guess that I’m in my mid 40s, and are shocked to learn my actual age. I’m also fortunate enough to be well-educated, financially stable, and reasonably good looking, so I am able to attract the women I’m interested in. FWIW, I would consider women as young as 25 hypothetically, but in reality I think it’s unlikely that I’d find the type of connection I’m seeking with someone that age. Realistically, 30 is probably my lower limit.
I mean… If you would truly prefer dating someone your own age you would be dating someone your own age. There are more realistic options for you to become a parent and have a quality relationship built on mutual respect.
I think most people dating people more than half their age tend to prefer people they can control emotionally and financially, and they tend to have more than a dash of narcissism. The older I get the stranger it is for me to see people dating someone they have nothing in common with. Like, what do you talk about with these people?
You may be in great shape for your 60s, but aging isn’t a gradual progression. It happens in plateaus, and the likelihood of you not starting to have some issues with your memory and physical mobility by the time your child reaches adulthood is slim to none.
All good points for you. I guess the issue comes down to dating younger specifically to have kids. In a way it’s reductive, you’re not looking for a partner but shopping for a receptacle to give you a child.
From your additional comment I can see that’s not entirely the case, but if you would refuse to date a woman that is in all regards is a perfect match for you just because she’s closer to your age (and unable to have children) then that’s a bit of an issue.
Or let’s say you get with a woman that is 35 and start trying to have kids ASAP and that as a partner she’s an ideal match. Then after trying for a year no kid. You go to a fertility specialist, and it turns out that she’s infertile. What does this mean for you?
In my mind it’s always been partner first then child if we so choose.
This isn’t to say it’s wrong to want kids, but if that’s the primary factor that can have issues
60/2 + 7 = 37. Mid 30s is cutting it
Meh, once someone is over thirty they’ve typically done enough adulting that the “half your age plus 7” metric isn’t really necessary. There isn’t a power or maturity imbalance, and I’m inclined to think that such women are capable of evaluating the pros and cons of dating me. My current best prospect is a M.D. that is 35.
Never assume anything. “Hi, I am … and you are?”
If needed, “… and what’s your relationship with him?”
“and you are of course his… niece?” 🤭
My go-to is to just forest introduce myself to the actual client, and then if they have anyone that I don’t already know, just ask something like “And who did you bring with you today?” So far no problems with that method.
Ask robotically and pretend to make a check mark on your clipboard, tada awkwardness averted
I need a clipboard for normal interactions maybe.
For some people it would be flattering because it means they look younger than their actual age.
I’m sure it gets tiring pretty quickly if the age gap is 15+ years.
Or look older than their actual age.
Funny, but also creepy.
Sounds like a mutually benefical arrangement assuming she’s with him for the money and he’s with her for her looks.
