I keep seeing this content that’s “men are so stupid and inferior and awful” and it’s grating on me.
Like, yes, there’s definitely a strong toxic subset of men, but most of use are just… normal?
I’m in my mid 30s, when the women aren’t around we’re mostly talking about kids (those who have them), hockey, finances, house stuff, and weird health issues. Depending on the group, how stupid politics/government shit is lately.
I don’t know. It feels like the toxicity that came for incels is coming at women hard these last few years. Reddit really pushes this stuff lately.
I keep seeing this content that’s “men are so stupid and inferior and awful” and it’s grating on me.
That’s because it’s troll bait. Just like all generations have a bigger than wanted set of shitty people. I don’t feel like I can take this shit down because it’s not breaking any rules. You all can help by not falling for the bait though.
Definitely this. It circulates widely because it generates outrage, even though the number of people who actually believe this is miniscule. This is the same technique right-wing media uses
I think the person who posted this was placing the emphasis more on the comic at the bottom which calls out the unnecessary shittiness of the original tweet.
That’s not exactly ragebait, that’s more “someone said something shitty and this is why it’s shitty.”
It has a utility. Calling out shittiness is an important antidote against that type of shittiness. It’s like it builds people’s psychological antibodies, so when they encounter it in the wild they know not to take it seriously. They know they aren’t the only one’s who see through it.
It was shown to be the case in the muller reports I think. Its only rational to assume its ramped up a lot more since then especially given how effective its been.
i mean i might be able to dig through logs and find similarities between times, vpns, etc. we’re talking forensic bullshit but i’d need instance level cooperation and it’s work work, so i’d need money. it honestly doesn’t sound worth it on either of our ends since my rates aren’t really what you’d be looking to pay. i used to be an accountant in a former life, before my disability got too bad, and did a few forensic gigs a year.
As I said in another comment, I don’t think OP meant it as troll bait. He probably thought it was funny and the trolls go off on it. They’ll make up opportunities if they can’t seize them. I do think “they” post stuff like this specifically to stir up shit, but not this one. I think it was opportunity trail bait.
and honestly what i’d probably find is the troll accounts’ activity, and also myself when i can’t sleep probably who knows what i get up to when i’m four days into an insomnia bender.
I appreciate you following the rules but tbh ragebait should be on of them. Lemmy is getting flooded with it lately. So many old, stupid social Twitter posts that do nothing but rile people up
This has 300+ upvotes right now though. I ethically agree with you, but I took over this community. If the community upvotes this sort of thing, I don’t feel like I have the right to remove it because I think it’s stupid and causes harm. I really want to, ha ha.
I know the opinion of one anonymous user doesn’t carry a lot of weight but this would be my counterargument:
Upvotes are not a good gauge when people will upvoted anything that reinforces their beliefs. Even if it’s straight up wrong like so many social media screenshots are.
Not all engagement is good engagement and more activity doesn’t necessarily lead to a better community. Lemmy has been flooded with ragebait and say-nothing tweets lately and I fear it’s becoming the norm
In my experience, if I took this down, the trolls will come out and attack so hard that any other kinds of posts get drowned out. Also, this is being upvoted outside of what I think the trolls can manage in briggading for the fediverse. This would be no problem for reddit, but I haven’t seen it here.
Edit: I should note that this poster is one of our best OPs and probably thought it was funny. Doesn’t stop it from being troll bait though.
I think you’re erring on the right side here, but boy do I hate using popularity as the reason. This is lemmy, so most folks are browsing by the all tab. Do you want to have a community shaped by ‘all’ or do you want the community to be shaped by people subscribed to the community (and following ‘the rules’ that are set in the community)? It’s sort of the flip side of the coin of the women’s space community that always whines when people come in to a post they see and comment/vote.
Yeah, but Incels also startet as Trolls and now they’ve developed into a real movement. Just like flatearthers and so many other conspiracy theories.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t engage with this type of content, I mean I’ve engaged in communities and posts about birds not being real and that might as well turn into real conspiracy theory just like flat earth.
But they do have real consequences and people might start to truly believe these things. Many people won’t realise it’s a bait, including women.
Because for years, people could be as shitty to “men” as a general category as they wanted to be, and no one was allowed to call it out. Anyone who did try to call it out got labeled as a right-winger or a misogynist or a redpilled men’s lib chud.
People literally started saying “misandry” is a misogynistic dogwhistle. As if calling out shittiness and hate implies that you’re actually peddling shittiness and hate for the other.
Maybe for someone who believes the only way to combat hate is with hate, then calling out hate might be seen as hateful. But if that’s the case, then it reduces life to a zero-sum game, and if that’s the case then it’s anything goes, survival of the fittest. I for one don’t believe in such a bleak vision of the world.
But for years any attempt to call out misandry was met with vitriol, usually proving the point but no one seemed to see that.
I’ve been saying for years that these double-standards are toxic and destructive. I’ve been destroyed on reddit multiple times for it, back before I got permabanned. I’ve had multiple arguments over it here too, and people just dismiss me as “sexist” for it, even though they’re the ones being sexist.
So honestly, it’s kinda nice to see a post that says, subtextually, “What this person said is very shitty” when showing a misandrist tweet. And it’s nice to see people agree that it’s shitty.
It feels like the world is waking up a little, like it might finally be ready to look itself in the mirror and realize that no hate is excusable.
Its so much worse here then in reddit. At least reddit has some subs that are somewhat male focused and leftist. Here a women only sub n keeps popingnup on my feed all but telling me the world would be a better place if I died.
I guarantee if someone made a men only community or even one focused on social issues affecting men the instance hosting it would be defederated by all others.
I blocked the “women’s only” subs because I didn’t need such blatant misandry popping up in my feed that I’ll get banned if I respond to saying it’s wrong. Because “no boys allowed” I guess.
On reddit even if I blocked a sub it would still show up in my feed. Spuck fez.
don’t worry though, tons of posters here who are leaning hard in on the misandry and hate, and think anyone who points out all this sexist bullshit just hates women. because if you ever call a lady out on her hateful ways, you just hate women.
Yeah, it’s funny, if you say women are perfect you’re called a sexist. But if you say women are flawed, you’re called a sexist. Even if you point to a specific woman and say she’s perfect or flawed, you’re called a sexist.
I guess I just won’t talk about or to women. I woulda thought that would be sexist, but apparently it’s the only way to avoid being called sexist.
haha, yeah this is why a lot of people are just giving up on dating game. you can’t win. everything you do is wrong.
buy her flowers and hold the door on a date ? that’s sexist! don’t buy her flowers and don’t hold the door, that’s sexist! so on and so on. a lot of folks are just… actively looking to be miserable and unhappy, rather than just set reasonable boundaries and expectations of what they want from the opposite sex.
in 2026, I’m supposed to support my potential partners by respecting their independent and strength, but also I’m suppose to be their provider and protector… and I’m supposed to be able to randomly switch roles at the drop of a pin based on how she is feeling at that very moment. and if i do not, I’m a horrible no good shitty man who doesn’t make her feel cared for, or I’m a horrible sexist asshole who doesn’t respect her independence and strength…
oh, by the way, if you explain how ridiculous this whole thing is to someone who expects it, they either call you a misogyny, or they just tell you how you ‘are not a real man’.
just like… why bother? pick one, or the other… or how about neither? just chill out and enjoy life and stop agonizing about everything! god forbid men and women just enjoy each other’s companionship without the endless need to measure every aspect of each other.
Yeah, I feel you. Especially the part about switching roles based on jow she’s feeling at the moment.
And she doesn’t even need to communicate how she’s feeling or what she expects from you, but if you expect her to communicate that then you’re entitled and a misogynist! And if you don’t read her mind and act accordingly then you’re either “not a real man” or you’re a misogynist.
It’s like, yeah… I’d like to have a partner and enjoy some companionship. But if this is the way things are going to be, well, my cat is far less confusing…
i have know plenty of women in long term happy stable relationships.
none of them are like that. they tell their husband/boyfriend what they want/need. and he gives it to them. and they are both happy. and he does the same with her. they also set… ground rules for the relationship and follow them.
it’s almost as if they see each other as reasonable people and act like reasonable people… and they are happy with that.
and the ladies who do the opposite, tell you that these happy ladies are all lairs and miserable and etc, or they just ‘got lucky’ and found husbands are just wonderful and perfect and flawless. shit’s wild, but the key factor is these women think they are not responsible for their themselves, that’s a man’s job to do for her.
Yeah, there’s a lot of stigma against single guys. Men in relationships are “approved by women” (and also, ironically, men who sleep around get this stamp of approval too).
Anyone else gets dismissed a priori as “man, therefore dangerous” and categorized as such, creating a vicious cycle that’s nearly impossible to break out of unless you’re lucky enough to find a partner.
Women in healthy relationships might have healthier views of men, because they have an example of a man who isn’t shit. Single women tend not to have the same perspective though, and after sleeping around and getting used and hurt (because it’s liberating and empowering, but when it blows up in her face it’s the man’s fault, or rather “men’s fault” in general, and the next guy she meets is going to take the blame just as hard if not harder than the man who actually abused her. Yet if a guy says “maybe don’t give your body to abusive men,” he gets called a ‘nice guy’ disparagingly, and an incel, because “women can make their own choices.” Like, yeah, they can, but why act surprised when those choices have predictable consequences?)
So it’s like people in relationships today were all raptured out of the dating pool before the apocalypse struck (around covid). I see so often people saying how grateful they are to not have to worry about modern dating. And the dread that people have after a divorce when they need to re-enter the dating scene in this crap.
But people will also gaslight you and say there’s nothing wrong with modern dating, and that you must be the problem, totally ignoring the millions of people who are having the same experience. It takes a certain level of privilege to be able to ignore it.
Oh, but when women have issues dating, then it’s a different story. Then it’s just because men are terrible and that makes the dating scene terrible. No other possible explanations, end of discussion. Yet when men have issues dating, then suddenly “there’s nothing wrong with modern dating! You’re just a misogynist who feels entitled to women’s bodies!”
Like, that’s a really big leap from “Man, I wish I could find someone to love and spend time with.” All they hear though is “Man, I wish I had a woman to own and treat like property.”
It’s just like “There is no gender war in Ba Sing Se” whenever a man talks about endemic misandry. But then suddenly “Ugh, I hate this stupid gender war” every time someone mentions misogyny. So there’s both a gender war and no gender war, depending on who’s expressing their grievances. Like trump bombing Iran during a ceasefire and then accusing them of endangering the ceasefire when they retaliate…
I’m so sick of the gaslighting. Yeah, it’s just so much easier to not talk to women. They exist in their own world, at this point, and I’m neither welcome in it nor welcome to invite them into mine.
i just kinda showed up there and hoped no one would notice i’m married, but my wife is awesome i like to talk about her. and they’re pretty cool on the community so 😘
The thing no one wants to admit or say is that while the modern (MeToo and onward) feminist movement certainly has good intentions, its been broadly co opted into a kind of pop-feminism that’s about as actually feminist as tik tok psychology advice is real psychology.
Its morphed into basically just a semi-formalized worldview of mystic misandry.
‘Manifesting’, the Patriarchy as essentially an evil spiritual or god-like entity or force, which everything else is oriented around and against… while simultaneously claiming that adherents need to ‘de-center men’ … near total abandonment of any attempt to empathize with the ‘other’, active glee in demonizing them… whole bunch of ‘creators’ just vying to be the most bombastic mini cult leader…
Its even got a discernible dialect.
They believe dogmas. When you try to inquire as to the basis or validity of those dogmas… they attack.
You get a bunch of faux psychoanalysis of how you could possibly have ended up so broken as to question their… you know, idea that they can’t or won’t actually defend.
Its like a religious fundamentalist launching into a semi-canned apologia response.
so like, i went to this cult university. one of the smaller mistakes of my life to give you an idea. they had this feminists group there. i generally look white and male, and back then i went by this cool nickname that was about my disability (a different disability has coopted it and that makes me grumpy but you know what, we could share. it’s not literally the only nickname what ever stuck to me besides my stage name. just, mine makes literal sense and theirs doesn’t but whatever, i can’t use it anymore anyways) and this group’s leader decided that anyone who looked male was there to trawl for women to fuck and believe me no and doubly no not her. First that’d be an ethical violation, second i don’t really need to say anything beyond that. Anyways, the motion to kick me out of the group was that because of my cool nickname based on my disability, and because i was white and male (even though i only look those things) i needed to go die in a fire.
now, this cult university does the weirdest psy-ops. like, there are articles in the salt lake tribune about them, don’t take my word for it. i grew up outside the jello belt. my polycule of grandpas taught me real feminism, so something smelled really off about that group, whether it’s just an absolute misandrist pseudo- firstwaver trying to deal with a punkrockabilly third/fourthwaver or it was a cult legitimately trying to turn people away from feminism with the subtlety of a brick.
i guess what i’m trying to say is, like, there’s some real dipshits out there
There are many kinds of feminism… and the pop-feminism of tik tok… yeah I agree, that’s not real feminism…
But try explaining the entire complex history of feminism to somebody whose only seen the tik tok version of feminism.
They’ll be very confused and think you are talking about something almost completely different, often to the point of concluding you are lying to them, trying to trick them.
As ever, everyone is talking past each other, trying to win an argument, not have an actual discussion.
being critical of those ideas/movements means you hate women.
so does any suggestion that women’s unhappiness in life is anything but her own. she is just helpless in a cruel world and she has no control over her fate… dare you suggest a woman ha agency over her own life and choices… you hate all women. but for men it’s the opposite. men are entirely in control of their own life and everything that happened to them, is their fault. they need therapy, but also if they get therapy, they aren’t real men.
and yes, a lot of it is full of cult/fundamentalist types of thought and belief.
I will say i have zero appreciation for “nice” things and the house looking cozy or whatever. If it were up to me I would live in a bare apartment with everything painted white and minimal furniture. And there’s nothing wrong with that and i have no reason to change.
Of all the things that are wrong with me and perhaps other men, this is just not one of them, it’s just a style preference, there’s zero morality involved. Whoever doesn’t like it can just not fuck with me, just like i dont fuck with decorations.
People are talking to people in real life less and less these day. The people they do talk to tend to be of the same gender, this was a thing before the Internet but the Internet has made it worse. Combine that with algorithms where the first thing they learn about you is your gender and will feed you content accordingly, peoples view of the opposite gender becomes more and more distorted. So the terminally online people, that also make a lot of the content on the Internet, tend to become misogynist or misandrist.
they don’t have to be terminally online. i overhear shit like this all the time irl. and encounter these attitudes all the time from women while dating in a liberal progressive city.
shitty people project their shit onto everyone. this is all this is. a shitty person mocking and deriding someone for being different than them or not living up to their bizarre and often hypocritical expectations of the opposite sex.
i go on so many dates where the woman basically just lays out what she is looking for in a relationship, and it’s they often take this condescending tone where they think men are inferior beings that have to ‘prove’ themselves… instead of regarding you as a fellow human being.
keep seeing this content that’s “men are so stupid and inferior and awful” and it’s grating on me.
Because there are groups specifically circulating ragebait to radicalize young and impressionable men into right winged radicalism. People see this all over the internet, but what do you see in real life? In my experience I have seen plenty of examples of casual misogyny in real life, I’ve never really seen any form of “misandry” in person.
I see a lot more Misandry in real life than say 15 years ago. A lot of it is very straight up and said as if there is nothing wrong with what they’re saying and its just a fact. Some examples off the top of my head are “short men are disgusting” “men are ruining the world” “we should just kill all men” “I hate that im attracted to men” and then plenty of things that are just attacking innocent things men do like their hobbies
all you have to do is flip the genders, and it’s hate speech. imagine guys going on about how short women are disgusting and unworthy of them… they would be considered horrible people.
I am suspicious that we might not have the same definition of real life…? In what settings are these conversations occurring? I cant imagine you are speaking to coworkers or a group of friends making these types of claims. Are we just overhearing people whole grocery shopping or something? Color me skeptical, but I just can’t really think of a scenario outside the Internet where this would even come up.
Secondly, I’m not sure if your examples are really all genuine acts of misandry.
“short men are disgusting”
Would it be misogynist for a man to claim tall women are disgusting? Inappropriate and small minded yes… Sexist in general though?
“men are ruining the world”
I think this one might just be accurate? As a man who does not hate men, I can pretty confidently claim that the people currently ruining the world are pretty much all men.
“I hate that im attracted to men”
Again, seems more like a personal preference thing? Sometimes I think certain aspects of life would be a lot easier if I were a gay man.
And again, these anecdotes could all be 100 percent true and valid, and it still wouldn’t be indicative that we are dealing with a prominent cultural shift towards misandry. Can any normal not terminally online adult name a single powerful, famous, or culturally significant misandrist? Because that’s super easy when it comes to misogynist.
this is mostly from my close friends, family and random women i’ve dated people who I would consider to be “nice people”. I am not trying to say the balancec is shifting towards misandry. I am trying to say irrespective of any increase in misogyny I am seeing and increase in misandry.
Racists and sexists hide behind their ‘preferences’ to legitimize their hate.
Just flip the genders. If you heard men saying these things about women, would you think that is legtimate or that it’s gross and hateful? Why is it the case then, that such things are permissible if it’s women talking about men?
Racists and sexists hide behind their ‘preferences’ to legitimize their hate.
Or… People just have preferences and that’s okay?
Just flip the genders. If you heard men saying these things about women, would you think that is legitimate or that it’s gross and hateful?
I mean, I did in my examples. If I said all women without a phat ass are disgusting, I think that would just make me an asshole. Not sure if that would really mean I hate women in general.
If I said women were ruining the world, it would prob be sexist because without any truth to the statement the only thing I could draw from it is that they were ruining things by simply being women. The opposite can’t really be conflated as most global leaders and politically influential people are men.
If some guys said he wished he wasn’t attracted to women, I would assume that they wish they had more options, or that they were emotionally attracted to men.
No. It’s not a ‘preference’ when you are actively denigrated and demeaning others.
A preference means I just don’t date them. I don’t find women with short hair, personally attractive. I don’t think women with short hair, are disgusting people unworthy of my consideration, nor do I feel the need to insult them, nor do I expect them to grow out their hair to become ‘worthy’ of me.
I just don’t date them. And I fully understand other people may find them attractive for the reasons I do not. They are still people to me, I don’t see any reason to mock, harass, or deride them as human beings for not meeting my sexual preferences.
Also, bullshit. Plenty of global leaders of the past 50 years have been women who were ruining the world. Ever heard of Margaret Thacher or Theresa May?
all i’m getting from your comments here is an intense bias that if a woman does it, it’s fine, but if a man does it, it’s bad. you are just reinforcing the existing sexist bias.
No. It’s not a ‘preference’ when you are actively denigrated and demeaning others.
That would be called being an asshole…
preference means I just don’t date them. I don’t find women with short hair, personally attractive. I don’t think women with short hair, are disgusting people unworthy of my consideration, nor do I feel the need to insult them, nor do I expect them to grow out their hair to become ‘worthy’ of me.
Again…never said it was good behaviour. However, unless they claimed they didn’t like short men because they did not find them masculine, then its not really sexist.
Also, bullshit. Plenty of global leaders of the past 50 years have been women who were ruining the world. Ever heard of Margaret Thacher or Theresa May?
“Currently” was a specification. I also never said that every world leader or influential or was male, just most. Also claiming men are ruining the world does not imply that every single man is responsible for destroying the world.
If I asked what animals can fly and someone said birds… Would you automatically say not all birds? Generalities are a commonly accepted form of communication.
all i’m getting from your comments here is an intense bias that if a woman does it, it’s fine, but if a man does it, it’s bad. you are just reinforcing the existing sexist bias.
All I am getting from you is pedantic nonsense and an intense need to be seen as a victim.
I’m not claiming it’s impossible for women to be sexist, it’s just insignificant in both volume and ability of implementation compared to misogyny.
Misogyny is both common place, and can be implemented from the hight of power. Women just do not have the social or political power to implement systemic sexism. The vast majority of business owners, judges, police, and politicians are male and thus they have the ability to act upon their sexism from the top down.
How many household names of misandrist can you name? Now think of how many misogynist pretty much anyone can name… The two are not comparable in any way.
you think women can’t be sexist against men, and if I am pointing out that they can, I just want to be a victim. because if i call someone out on shitty behavior, it’s not that it’s them being shitty, it’s that I’m i want to be a big whiny baby… right.
and yes, misogyny is very real, and misandry cannot exist. there are no true misandrists, but misogyny is evidence abundant and wherever…
You are just deeply sexist and committed to your sexist beliefs, and are using them to bias-confirm that sexism is one ever men against women, or something absurdly and patently not true.
Are we also going to go further, and claim that women can’t be racist, because of power structures or something? so if a white lady goes on a tear about how all black men scary because she is afraid they are going to rape her, that’s totally not racist and sexist of her, it’s just her expressing a ‘legitimate concern for her safety’? Yeah, I’m sure you already think that.
oh right, sorry, no, actually that’s her ‘just being an asshole’. right? did I get it right now?
how convenient this entire argument is for you, and your sexist world view.
I don’t mind when cis women say stuff like that because it means they’re marks, I feel bad for them, because they’re absolutely going to get scammed by a man. When trans women say stuff like this it sometimes means they’re in the process of bullying someone in their own community into taking their own lives, so it ruffles my feathers a lot more.
you are being logical and thoughtful and acknowledging a complex reality.
the people who push this shit live in a black and white world where all men are scum and should aspire to not be men. these are also the same people who will complain there are no ‘manly men’ left.
they are gender supremacists living in a delusional reality of their own making. they simple hate men for existing, just men who hate women hate them for existing. except for when they are sexual fantasy objects.
I keep seeing this content that’s “men are so stupid and inferior and awful” and it’s grating on me.
Like, yes, there’s definitely a strong toxic subset of men, but most of use are just… normal?
I’m in my mid 30s, when the women aren’t around we’re mostly talking about kids (those who have them), hockey, finances, house stuff, and weird health issues. Depending on the group, how stupid politics/government shit is lately.
I don’t know. It feels like the toxicity that came for incels is coming at women hard these last few years. Reddit really pushes this stuff lately.
That’s because it’s troll bait. Just like all generations have a bigger than wanted set of shitty people. I don’t feel like I can take this shit down because it’s not breaking any rules. You all can help by not falling for the bait though.
Definitely this. It circulates widely because it generates outrage, even though the number of people who actually believe this is miniscule. This is the same technique right-wing media uses
I think the person who posted this was placing the emphasis more on the comic at the bottom which calls out the unnecessary shittiness of the original tweet.
That’s not exactly ragebait, that’s more “someone said something shitty and this is why it’s shitty.”
It has a utility. Calling out shittiness is an important antidote against that type of shittiness. It’s like it builds people’s psychological antibodies, so when they encounter it in the wild they know not to take it seriously. They know they aren’t the only one’s who see through it.
It might even be the same people. I suspect that, but don’t have any proof.
Russia has repeatedly and explicitly said they are playing both sides of the US/Western political divide against each other in online rate campaigns.
rage* 🙇🏼♂️
It was shown to be the case in the muller reports I think. Its only rational to assume its ramped up a lot more since then especially given how effective its been.
how important is proof and what would you do with it?
I have no idea how anyone could prove it. But if I could, I would remove these types of posts as spam.
i mean i might be able to dig through logs and find similarities between times, vpns, etc. we’re talking forensic bullshit but i’d need instance level cooperation and it’s work work, so i’d need money. it honestly doesn’t sound worth it on either of our ends since my rates aren’t really what you’d be looking to pay. i used to be an accountant in a former life, before my disability got too bad, and did a few forensic gigs a year.
As I said in another comment, I don’t think OP meant it as troll bait. He probably thought it was funny and the trolls go off on it. They’ll make up opportunities if they can’t seize them. I do think “they” post stuff like this specifically to stir up shit, but not this one. I think it was opportunity trail bait.
and honestly what i’d probably find is the troll accounts’ activity, and also myself when i can’t sleep probably who knows what i get up to when i’m four days into an insomnia bender.
Agitprop, yep. One of the oldest tricks in the book, and we still need to remind people. 😶
I appreciate you following the rules but tbh ragebait should be on of them. Lemmy is getting flooded with it lately. So many old, stupid social Twitter posts that do nothing but rile people up
This has 300+ upvotes right now though. I ethically agree with you, but I took over this community. If the community upvotes this sort of thing, I don’t feel like I have the right to remove it because I think it’s stupid and causes harm. I really want to, ha ha.
I know the opinion of one anonymous user doesn’t carry a lot of weight but this would be my counterargument:
Upvotes are not a good gauge when people will upvoted anything that reinforces their beliefs. Even if it’s straight up wrong like so many social media screenshots are.
Not all engagement is good engagement and more activity doesn’t necessarily lead to a better community. Lemmy has been flooded with ragebait and say-nothing tweets lately and I fear it’s becoming the norm
In my experience, if I took this down, the trolls will come out and attack so hard that any other kinds of posts get drowned out. Also, this is being upvoted outside of what I think the trolls can manage in briggading for the fediverse. This would be no problem for reddit, but I haven’t seen it here.
Edit: I should note that this poster is one of our best OPs and probably thought it was funny. Doesn’t stop it from being troll bait though.
I don’t necessarily think you should remove this one but I’m all for a rule update in general
What would that rule look like? No troll baiting maybe, but that would leave it up to me. I’m not sure this community is ready for the blowback.
I think you’re erring on the right side here, but boy do I hate using popularity as the reason. This is lemmy, so most folks are browsing by the all tab. Do you want to have a community shaped by ‘all’ or do you want the community to be shaped by people subscribed to the community (and following ‘the rules’ that are set in the community)? It’s sort of the flip side of the coin of the women’s space community that always whines when people come in to a post they see and comment/vote.
Yeah, but Incels also startet as Trolls and now they’ve developed into a real movement. Just like flatearthers and so many other conspiracy theories.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t engage with this type of content, I mean I’ve engaged in communities and posts about birds not being real and that might as well turn into real conspiracy theory just like flat earth.
But they do have real consequences and people might start to truly believe these things. Many people won’t realise it’s a bait, including women.
Because for years, people could be as shitty to “men” as a general category as they wanted to be, and no one was allowed to call it out. Anyone who did try to call it out got labeled as a right-winger or a misogynist or a redpilled men’s lib chud.
People literally started saying “misandry” is a misogynistic dogwhistle. As if calling out shittiness and hate implies that you’re actually peddling shittiness and hate for the other.
Maybe for someone who believes the only way to combat hate is with hate, then calling out hate might be seen as hateful. But if that’s the case, then it reduces life to a zero-sum game, and if that’s the case then it’s anything goes, survival of the fittest. I for one don’t believe in such a bleak vision of the world.
But for years any attempt to call out misandry was met with vitriol, usually proving the point but no one seemed to see that.
I’ve been saying for years that these double-standards are toxic and destructive. I’ve been destroyed on reddit multiple times for it, back before I got permabanned. I’ve had multiple arguments over it here too, and people just dismiss me as “sexist” for it, even though they’re the ones being sexist.
So honestly, it’s kinda nice to see a post that says, subtextually, “What this person said is very shitty” when showing a misandrist tweet. And it’s nice to see people agree that it’s shitty.
It feels like the world is waking up a little, like it might finally be ready to look itself in the mirror and realize that no hate is excusable.
Its so much worse here then in reddit. At least reddit has some subs that are somewhat male focused and leftist. Here a women only sub n keeps popingnup on my feed all but telling me the world would be a better place if I died.
I guarantee if someone made a men only community or even one focused on social issues affecting men the instance hosting it would be defederated by all others.
I blocked the “women’s only” subs because I didn’t need such blatant misandry popping up in my feed that I’ll get banned if I respond to saying it’s wrong. Because “no boys allowed” I guess.
On reddit even if I blocked a sub it would still show up in my feed. Spuck fez.
amen brother.
don’t worry though, tons of posters here who are leaning hard in on the misandry and hate, and think anyone who points out all this sexist bullshit just hates women. because if you ever call a lady out on her hateful ways, you just hate women.
Yeah, it’s funny, if you say women are perfect you’re called a sexist. But if you say women are flawed, you’re called a sexist. Even if you point to a specific woman and say she’s perfect or flawed, you’re called a sexist.
I guess I just won’t talk about or to women. I woulda thought that would be sexist, but apparently it’s the only way to avoid being called sexist.
haha, yeah this is why a lot of people are just giving up on dating game. you can’t win. everything you do is wrong.
buy her flowers and hold the door on a date ? that’s sexist! don’t buy her flowers and don’t hold the door, that’s sexist! so on and so on. a lot of folks are just… actively looking to be miserable and unhappy, rather than just set reasonable boundaries and expectations of what they want from the opposite sex.
in 2026, I’m supposed to support my potential partners by respecting their independent and strength, but also I’m suppose to be their provider and protector… and I’m supposed to be able to randomly switch roles at the drop of a pin based on how she is feeling at that very moment. and if i do not, I’m a horrible no good shitty man who doesn’t make her feel cared for, or I’m a horrible sexist asshole who doesn’t respect her independence and strength…
oh, by the way, if you explain how ridiculous this whole thing is to someone who expects it, they either call you a misogyny, or they just tell you how you ‘are not a real man’.
just like… why bother? pick one, or the other… or how about neither? just chill out and enjoy life and stop agonizing about everything! god forbid men and women just enjoy each other’s companionship without the endless need to measure every aspect of each other.
Yeah, I feel you. Especially the part about switching roles based on jow she’s feeling at the moment.
And she doesn’t even need to communicate how she’s feeling or what she expects from you, but if you expect her to communicate that then you’re entitled and a misogynist! And if you don’t read her mind and act accordingly then you’re either “not a real man” or you’re a misogynist.
It’s like, yeah… I’d like to have a partner and enjoy some companionship. But if this is the way things are going to be, well, my cat is far less confusing…
i have know plenty of women in long term happy stable relationships.
none of them are like that. they tell their husband/boyfriend what they want/need. and he gives it to them. and they are both happy. and he does the same with her. they also set… ground rules for the relationship and follow them.
it’s almost as if they see each other as reasonable people and act like reasonable people… and they are happy with that.
and the ladies who do the opposite, tell you that these happy ladies are all lairs and miserable and etc, or they just ‘got lucky’ and found husbands are just wonderful and perfect and flawless. shit’s wild, but the key factor is these women think they are not responsible for their themselves, that’s a man’s job to do for her.
Yeah, there’s a lot of stigma against single guys. Men in relationships are “approved by women” (and also, ironically, men who sleep around get this stamp of approval too).
Anyone else gets dismissed a priori as “man, therefore dangerous” and categorized as such, creating a vicious cycle that’s nearly impossible to break out of unless you’re lucky enough to find a partner.
Women in healthy relationships might have healthier views of men, because they have an example of a man who isn’t shit. Single women tend not to have the same perspective though, and after sleeping around and getting used and hurt (because it’s liberating and empowering, but when it blows up in her face it’s the man’s fault, or rather “men’s fault” in general, and the next guy she meets is going to take the blame just as hard if not harder than the man who actually abused her. Yet if a guy says “maybe don’t give your body to abusive men,” he gets called a ‘nice guy’ disparagingly, and an incel, because “women can make their own choices.” Like, yeah, they can, but why act surprised when those choices have predictable consequences?)
So it’s like people in relationships today were all raptured out of the dating pool before the apocalypse struck (around covid). I see so often people saying how grateful they are to not have to worry about modern dating. And the dread that people have after a divorce when they need to re-enter the dating scene in this crap.
But people will also gaslight you and say there’s nothing wrong with modern dating, and that you must be the problem, totally ignoring the millions of people who are having the same experience. It takes a certain level of privilege to be able to ignore it.
Oh, but when women have issues dating, then it’s a different story. Then it’s just because men are terrible and that makes the dating scene terrible. No other possible explanations, end of discussion. Yet when men have issues dating, then suddenly “there’s nothing wrong with modern dating! You’re just a misogynist who feels entitled to women’s bodies!”
Like, that’s a really big leap from “Man, I wish I could find someone to love and spend time with.” All they hear though is “Man, I wish I had a woman to own and treat like property.”
It’s just like “There is no gender war in Ba Sing Se” whenever a man talks about endemic misandry. But then suddenly “Ugh, I hate this stupid gender war” every time someone mentions misogyny. So there’s both a gender war and no gender war, depending on who’s expressing their grievances. Like trump bombing Iran during a ceasefire and then accusing them of endangering the ceasefire when they retaliate…
I’m so sick of the gaslighting. Yeah, it’s just so much easier to not talk to women. They exist in their own world, at this point, and I’m neither welcome in it nor welcome to invite them into mine.
Femcels are a thing. :\
I hate to use that term though because I love femcel communities here on fediverse. They probably got the best memes in the verse.
I still haven’t figured put what the deal is with that place, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.
Female celery
Well, yes, but I think that’s a leek.
Which is delicious in the right soup.
i just kinda showed up there and hoped no one would notice i’m married, but my wife is awesome i like to talk about her. and they’re pretty cool on the community so 😘
It’s really prevalent, but it’s unfortunately hard to call out, especially irl.
I upvoted because the two panel underneath is mocking the ragebait post.
Not voting either way is also an option
OK
Typical mysandrists. Dumb as fuk
The thing no one wants to admit or say is that while the modern (MeToo and onward) feminist movement certainly has good intentions, its been broadly co opted into a kind of pop-feminism that’s about as actually feminist as tik tok psychology advice is real psychology.
Its morphed into basically just a semi-formalized worldview of mystic misandry.
‘Manifesting’, the Patriarchy as essentially an evil spiritual or god-like entity or force, which everything else is oriented around and against… while simultaneously claiming that adherents need to ‘de-center men’ … near total abandonment of any attempt to empathize with the ‘other’, active glee in demonizing them… whole bunch of ‘creators’ just vying to be the most bombastic mini cult leader…
Its even got a discernible dialect.
They believe dogmas. When you try to inquire as to the basis or validity of those dogmas… they attack.
You get a bunch of faux psychoanalysis of how you could possibly have ended up so broken as to question their… you know, idea that they can’t or won’t actually defend.
Its like a religious fundamentalist launching into a semi-canned apologia response.
so like, i went to this cult university. one of the smaller mistakes of my life to give you an idea. they had this feminists group there. i generally look white and male, and back then i went by this cool nickname that was about my disability (a different disability has coopted it and that makes me grumpy but you know what, we could share. it’s not literally the only nickname what ever stuck to me besides my stage name. just, mine makes literal sense and theirs doesn’t but whatever, i can’t use it anymore anyways) and this group’s leader decided that anyone who looked male was there to trawl for women to fuck and believe me no and doubly no not her. First that’d be an ethical violation, second i don’t really need to say anything beyond that. Anyways, the motion to kick me out of the group was that because of my cool nickname based on my disability, and because i was white and male (even though i only look those things) i needed to go die in a fire.
now, this cult university does the weirdest psy-ops. like, there are articles in the salt lake tribune about them, don’t take my word for it. i grew up outside the jello belt. my polycule of grandpas taught me real feminism, so something smelled really off about that group, whether it’s just an absolute misandrist pseudo- firstwaver trying to deal with a punkrockabilly third/fourthwaver or it was a cult legitimately trying to turn people away from feminism with the subtlety of a brick.
i guess what i’m trying to say is, like, there’s some real dipshits out there
Yep.
There are many kinds of feminism… and the pop-feminism of tik tok… yeah I agree, that’s not real feminism…
But try explaining the entire complex history of feminism to somebody whose only seen the tik tok version of feminism.
They’ll be very confused and think you are talking about something almost completely different, often to the point of concluding you are lying to them, trying to trick them.
As ever, everyone is talking past each other, trying to win an argument, not have an actual discussion.
being critical of those ideas/movements means you hate women.
so does any suggestion that women’s unhappiness in life is anything but her own. she is just helpless in a cruel world and she has no control over her fate… dare you suggest a woman ha agency over her own life and choices… you hate all women. but for men it’s the opposite. men are entirely in control of their own life and everything that happened to them, is their fault. they need therapy, but also if they get therapy, they aren’t real men.
and yes, a lot of it is full of cult/fundamentalist types of thought and belief.
I will say i have zero appreciation for “nice” things and the house looking cozy or whatever. If it were up to me I would live in a bare apartment with everything painted white and minimal furniture. And there’s nothing wrong with that and i have no reason to change.
Of all the things that are wrong with me and perhaps other men, this is just not one of them, it’s just a style preference, there’s zero morality involved. Whoever doesn’t like it can just not fuck with me, just like i dont fuck with decorations.
People are talking to people in real life less and less these day. The people they do talk to tend to be of the same gender, this was a thing before the Internet but the Internet has made it worse. Combine that with algorithms where the first thing they learn about you is your gender and will feed you content accordingly, peoples view of the opposite gender becomes more and more distorted. So the terminally online people, that also make a lot of the content on the Internet, tend to become misogynist or misandrist.
they don’t have to be terminally online. i overhear shit like this all the time irl. and encounter these attitudes all the time from women while dating in a liberal progressive city.
shitty people project their shit onto everyone. this is all this is. a shitty person mocking and deriding someone for being different than them or not living up to their bizarre and often hypocritical expectations of the opposite sex.
i go on so many dates where the woman basically just lays out what she is looking for in a relationship, and it’s they often take this condescending tone where they think men are inferior beings that have to ‘prove’ themselves… instead of regarding you as a fellow human being.
Because there are groups specifically circulating ragebait to radicalize young and impressionable men into right winged radicalism. People see this all over the internet, but what do you see in real life? In my experience I have seen plenty of examples of casual misogyny in real life, I’ve never really seen any form of “misandry” in person.
I see a lot more Misandry in real life than say 15 years ago. A lot of it is very straight up and said as if there is nothing wrong with what they’re saying and its just a fact. Some examples off the top of my head are “short men are disgusting” “men are ruining the world” “we should just kill all men” “I hate that im attracted to men” and then plenty of things that are just attacking innocent things men do like their hobbies
yes.
all you have to do is flip the genders, and it’s hate speech. imagine guys going on about how short women are disgusting and unworthy of them… they would be considered horrible people.
If all you do is flip the genders then you’re ignoring the context - power and history.
There’s a difference between punching up and punching down.
No. Power and history don’t matter in personal relationships. We are only responsible for ourselves as individuals.
Power and history only matter at the institutional level. Stop mistaking institutional issues, for individual’s behaviors. They are not at all linked.
I am suspicious that we might not have the same definition of real life…? In what settings are these conversations occurring? I cant imagine you are speaking to coworkers or a group of friends making these types of claims. Are we just overhearing people whole grocery shopping or something? Color me skeptical, but I just can’t really think of a scenario outside the Internet where this would even come up.
Secondly, I’m not sure if your examples are really all genuine acts of misandry.
Would it be misogynist for a man to claim tall women are disgusting? Inappropriate and small minded yes… Sexist in general though?
I think this one might just be accurate? As a man who does not hate men, I can pretty confidently claim that the people currently ruining the world are pretty much all men.
Again, seems more like a personal preference thing? Sometimes I think certain aspects of life would be a lot easier if I were a gay man.
And again, these anecdotes could all be 100 percent true and valid, and it still wouldn’t be indicative that we are dealing with a prominent cultural shift towards misandry. Can any normal not terminally online adult name a single powerful, famous, or culturally significant misandrist? Because that’s super easy when it comes to misogynist.
this is mostly from my close friends, family and random women i’ve dated people who I would consider to be “nice people”. I am not trying to say the balancec is shifting towards misandry. I am trying to say irrespective of any increase in misogyny I am seeing and increase in misandry.
Racists and sexists hide behind their ‘preferences’ to legitimize their hate.
Just flip the genders. If you heard men saying these things about women, would you think that is legtimate or that it’s gross and hateful? Why is it the case then, that such things are permissible if it’s women talking about men?
Or… People just have preferences and that’s okay?
I mean, I did in my examples. If I said all women without a phat ass are disgusting, I think that would just make me an asshole. Not sure if that would really mean I hate women in general.
If I said women were ruining the world, it would prob be sexist because without any truth to the statement the only thing I could draw from it is that they were ruining things by simply being women. The opposite can’t really be conflated as most global leaders and politically influential people are men.
If some guys said he wished he wasn’t attracted to women, I would assume that they wish they had more options, or that they were emotionally attracted to men.
I mean context is important in each scenario.
No. It’s not a ‘preference’ when you are actively denigrated and demeaning others.
A preference means I just don’t date them. I don’t find women with short hair, personally attractive. I don’t think women with short hair, are disgusting people unworthy of my consideration, nor do I feel the need to insult them, nor do I expect them to grow out their hair to become ‘worthy’ of me.
I just don’t date them. And I fully understand other people may find them attractive for the reasons I do not. They are still people to me, I don’t see any reason to mock, harass, or deride them as human beings for not meeting my sexual preferences.
Also, bullshit. Plenty of global leaders of the past 50 years have been women who were ruining the world. Ever heard of Margaret Thacher or Theresa May?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_elected_or_appointed_female_heads_of_state_or_government
all i’m getting from your comments here is an intense bias that if a woman does it, it’s fine, but if a man does it, it’s bad. you are just reinforcing the existing sexist bias.
That would be called being an asshole…
Again…never said it was good behaviour. However, unless they claimed they didn’t like short men because they did not find them masculine, then its not really sexist.
“Currently” was a specification. I also never said that every world leader or influential or was male, just most. Also claiming men are ruining the world does not imply that every single man is responsible for destroying the world.
If I asked what animals can fly and someone said birds… Would you automatically say not all birds? Generalities are a commonly accepted form of communication.
All I am getting from you is pedantic nonsense and an intense need to be seen as a victim.
I’m not claiming it’s impossible for women to be sexist, it’s just insignificant in both volume and ability of implementation compared to misogyny.
Misogyny is both common place, and can be implemented from the hight of power. Women just do not have the social or political power to implement systemic sexism. The vast majority of business owners, judges, police, and politicians are male and thus they have the ability to act upon their sexism from the top down.
How many household names of misandrist can you name? Now think of how many misogynist pretty much anyone can name… The two are not comparable in any way.
thanks. you have just proven my point.
you think women can’t be sexist against men, and if I am pointing out that they can, I just want to be a victim. because if i call someone out on shitty behavior, it’s not that it’s them being shitty, it’s that I’m i want to be a big whiny baby… right.
and yes, misogyny is very real, and misandry cannot exist. there are no true misandrists, but misogyny is evidence abundant and wherever…
You are just deeply sexist and committed to your sexist beliefs, and are using them to bias-confirm that sexism is one ever men against women, or something absurdly and patently not true.
Are we also going to go further, and claim that women can’t be racist, because of power structures or something? so if a white lady goes on a tear about how all black men scary because she is afraid they are going to rape her, that’s totally not racist and sexist of her, it’s just her expressing a ‘legitimate concern for her safety’? Yeah, I’m sure you already think that.
oh right, sorry, no, actually that’s her ‘just being an asshole’. right? did I get it right now?
how convenient this entire argument is for you, and your sexist world view.
I don’t mind when cis women say stuff like that because it means they’re marks, I feel bad for them, because they’re absolutely going to get scammed by a man. When trans women say stuff like this it sometimes means they’re in the process of bullying someone in their own community into taking their own lives, so it ruffles my feathers a lot more.
I have seen misandry in person multiple times but not nearly as often as misogyny. The misandry had far less impact on anyone as well.
you are being logical and thoughtful and acknowledging a complex reality.
the people who push this shit live in a black and white world where all men are scum and should aspire to not be men. these are also the same people who will complain there are no ‘manly men’ left.
they are gender supremacists living in a delusional reality of their own making. they simple hate men for existing, just men who hate women hate them for existing. except for when they are sexual fantasy objects.
I first read that as “horse stuff” and was wondering if horses were suddenly in now