• TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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    3 days ago

    keep seeing this content that’s “men are so stupid and inferior and awful” and it’s grating on me.

    Because there are groups specifically circulating ragebait to radicalize young and impressionable men into right winged radicalism. People see this all over the internet, but what do you see in real life? In my experience I have seen plenty of examples of casual misogyny in real life, I’ve never really seen any form of “misandry” in person.

    • Auth@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I see a lot more Misandry in real life than say 15 years ago. A lot of it is very straight up and said as if there is nothing wrong with what they’re saying and its just a fact. Some examples off the top of my head are “short men are disgusting” “men are ruining the world” “we should just kill all men” “I hate that im attracted to men” and then plenty of things that are just attacking innocent things men do like their hobbies

      • AskewLord@piefed.social
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        2 days ago

        yes.

        all you have to do is flip the genders, and it’s hate speech. imagine guys going on about how short women are disgusting and unworthy of them… they would be considered horrible people.

        • Rimu@piefed.social
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          2 days ago

          If all you do is flip the genders then you’re ignoring the context - power and history.

          There’s a difference between punching up and punching down.

          • AskewLord@piefed.social
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            24 hours ago

            No. Power and history don’t matter in personal relationships. We are only responsible for ourselves as individuals.

            Power and history only matter at the institutional level. Stop mistaking institutional issues, for individual’s behaviors. They are not at all linked.

      • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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        2 days ago

        I am suspicious that we might not have the same definition of real life…? In what settings are these conversations occurring? I cant imagine you are speaking to coworkers or a group of friends making these types of claims. Are we just overhearing people whole grocery shopping or something? Color me skeptical, but I just can’t really think of a scenario outside the Internet where this would even come up.

        Secondly, I’m not sure if your examples are really all genuine acts of misandry.

        “short men are disgusting”

        Would it be misogynist for a man to claim tall women are disgusting? Inappropriate and small minded yes… Sexist in general though?

        “men are ruining the world”

        I think this one might just be accurate? As a man who does not hate men, I can pretty confidently claim that the people currently ruining the world are pretty much all men.

        “I hate that im attracted to men”

        Again, seems more like a personal preference thing? Sometimes I think certain aspects of life would be a lot easier if I were a gay man.

        And again, these anecdotes could all be 100 percent true and valid, and it still wouldn’t be indicative that we are dealing with a prominent cultural shift towards misandry. Can any normal not terminally online adult name a single powerful, famous, or culturally significant misandrist? Because that’s super easy when it comes to misogynist.

        • Auth@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          this is mostly from my close friends, family and random women i’ve dated people who I would consider to be “nice people”. I am not trying to say the balancec is shifting towards misandry. I am trying to say irrespective of any increase in misogyny I am seeing and increase in misandry.

        • AskewLord@piefed.social
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          2 days ago

          Racists and sexists hide behind their ‘preferences’ to legitimize their hate.

          Just flip the genders. If you heard men saying these things about women, would you think that is legtimate or that it’s gross and hateful? Why is it the case then, that such things are permissible if it’s women talking about men?

          • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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            2 days ago

            Racists and sexists hide behind their ‘preferences’ to legitimize their hate.

            Or… People just have preferences and that’s okay?

            Just flip the genders. If you heard men saying these things about women, would you think that is legitimate or that it’s gross and hateful?

            I mean, I did in my examples. If I said all women without a phat ass are disgusting, I think that would just make me an asshole. Not sure if that would really mean I hate women in general.

            If I said women were ruining the world, it would prob be sexist because without any truth to the statement the only thing I could draw from it is that they were ruining things by simply being women. The opposite can’t really be conflated as most global leaders and politically influential people are men.

            If some guys said he wished he wasn’t attracted to women, I would assume that they wish they had more options, or that they were emotionally attracted to men.

            I mean context is important in each scenario.

            • AskewLord@piefed.social
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              2 days ago

              No. It’s not a ‘preference’ when you are actively denigrated and demeaning others.

              A preference means I just don’t date them. I don’t find women with short hair, personally attractive. I don’t think women with short hair, are disgusting people unworthy of my consideration, nor do I feel the need to insult them, nor do I expect them to grow out their hair to become ‘worthy’ of me.

              I just don’t date them. And I fully understand other people may find them attractive for the reasons I do not. They are still people to me, I don’t see any reason to mock, harass, or deride them as human beings for not meeting my sexual preferences.

              Also, bullshit. Plenty of global leaders of the past 50 years have been women who were ruining the world. Ever heard of Margaret Thacher or Theresa May?

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_elected_or_appointed_female_heads_of_state_or_government

              all i’m getting from your comments here is an intense bias that if a woman does it, it’s fine, but if a man does it, it’s bad. you are just reinforcing the existing sexist bias.

              • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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                2 days ago

                No. It’s not a ‘preference’ when you are actively denigrated and demeaning others.

                That would be called being an asshole…

                preference means I just don’t date them. I don’t find women with short hair, personally attractive. I don’t think women with short hair, are disgusting people unworthy of my consideration, nor do I feel the need to insult them, nor do I expect them to grow out their hair to become ‘worthy’ of me.

                Again…never said it was good behaviour. However, unless they claimed they didn’t like short men because they did not find them masculine, then its not really sexist.

                Also, bullshit. Plenty of global leaders of the past 50 years have been women who were ruining the world. Ever heard of Margaret Thacher or Theresa May?

                “Currently” was a specification. I also never said that every world leader or influential or was male, just most. Also claiming men are ruining the world does not imply that every single man is responsible for destroying the world.

                If I asked what animals can fly and someone said birds… Would you automatically say not all birds? Generalities are a commonly accepted form of communication.

                all i’m getting from your comments here is an intense bias that if a woman does it, it’s fine, but if a man does it, it’s bad. you are just reinforcing the existing sexist bias.

                All I am getting from you is pedantic nonsense and an intense need to be seen as a victim.

                I’m not claiming it’s impossible for women to be sexist, it’s just insignificant in both volume and ability of implementation compared to misogyny.

                Misogyny is both common place, and can be implemented from the hight of power. Women just do not have the social or political power to implement systemic sexism. The vast majority of business owners, judges, police, and politicians are male and thus they have the ability to act upon their sexism from the top down.

                How many household names of misandrist can you name? Now think of how many misogynist pretty much anyone can name… The two are not comparable in any way.

                • AskewLord@piefed.social
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                  2 days ago

                  thanks. you have just proven my point.

                  you think women can’t be sexist against men, and if I am pointing out that they can, I just want to be a victim. because if i call someone out on shitty behavior, it’s not that it’s them being shitty, it’s that I’m i want to be a big whiny baby… right.

                  and yes, misogyny is very real, and misandry cannot exist. there are no true misandrists, but misogyny is evidence abundant and wherever…

                  You are just deeply sexist and committed to your sexist beliefs, and are using them to bias-confirm that sexism is one ever men against women, or something absurdly and patently not true.

                  Are we also going to go further, and claim that women can’t be racist, because of power structures or something? so if a white lady goes on a tear about how all black men scary because she is afraid they are going to rape her, that’s totally not racist and sexist of her, it’s just her expressing a ‘legitimate concern for her safety’? Yeah, I’m sure you already think that.

                  oh right, sorry, no, actually that’s her ‘just being an asshole’. right? did I get it right now?

                  how convenient this entire argument is for you, and your sexist world view.

                  • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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                    2 days ago

                    you think women can’t be sexist against men

                    Lol, I specifically said they can…

                    a big whiny baby… right.

                    Seems you are doing your best impression.

                    and misandry cannot exist

                    Not systemically, and not at the same scale as misogyny.

                    You are just deeply sexist and committed to your sexist beliefs

                    Apparently I hate myself? I’m just too manly for my own good…

                    Are we also going to go further, and claim that women can’t be racist, because of power structures or something?

                    My dude, what are you talking about? Did you forget your meds today or something?

                    oh right, sorry, no, actually that’s her ‘just being an asshole’. right? did I get it right now?

                    Have you ever had a linear argument in your life?

                    I think you might need a break from the internet. You are becoming a little unraveled.

      • Bobby@leminal.spacedeleted by creatorBanned from community
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        2 days ago

        I don’t mind when cis women say stuff like that because it means they’re marks, I feel bad for them, because they’re absolutely going to get scammed by a man. When trans women say stuff like this it sometimes means they’re in the process of bullying someone in their own community into taking their own lives, so it ruffles my feathers a lot more.

    • [deleted]@piefed.world
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      3 days ago

      I have seen misandry in person multiple times but not nearly as often as misogyny. The misandry had far less impact on anyone as well.