Ladies, I promise I’m not trying to eat you.

…wait. No, I mean, I’ll go down on you, sure. But I will not consume your flesh.

Also, I’d like to handcuff your ankles and wrists onto a steel frame, in a vulnerable position. Then tickle the crap out of you for hours!

Hey! Where ya going, ladies? Come back!

See? So hard to talk to women!

The guy who stole my taco now deleted his comment. Made out like a banshee in the night. No taking responsibility for their own actions. Instead, he’s probably snacking on my taco! That taco was like a taco to me! AND NOW IT’S GONE!!!

I used to work for a very shitty hotel. Like, heroin and hookers kind of hotel.

One summer we somehow became the official hotel of something called CLAW. I have no idea what it stands for, but the basic idea is that it’s a gay guys in leather convention.

Anyways, I’m a straight male. I have no issues with these guys, but I wouldn’t join in. As I’m working the front counter, this guy comes up and tries to flirt with me. I politely decline. Then he goes off to our dining room area.

Another guy walks up to check in. As I’m doing my job, the first guy comes back, walks up to the guy checking in, and says “Heeeey, I’m Tom. Are you single?” to which the second guy says “No, but I’m free to play”. Tom then gives him a room key, and says “Well I’m room 329. Feel free to bring as many as your friends as you like”.

To this day I am dumbfounded by that interaction. To any gay dudes reading this, I want you to know flirting with women and sealing the deal is NOWHERE NEAR that easy! I was impressed, and a bit jealous.

Tom walked up to this guy, and with 1 sentence and 1 question organized an orgy in which he was not at all responsible for setting up. He’s just offering a room. You bring the dudes.

This means Tom doesn’t have to vet people. He doesn’t need to make sure everyone is comfortable with each other. He just told the second guy to bring all his friends, and he reaps all the rewards of orgy host!

To put that in perspective, I’m 42, and never even had a threesome with 2 women. Because its such a hassle getting all the details just right. Meanwhile Tom’s over here like “ALL of your friends please!”

He went from “Hi my name is Tom” to “Lets pack my room with dudes” with only one sentence, and one question. Even the Germans aren’t THAT efficient!

So for you to say that you can’t get any other guys to give you a handjob…brother, you’re just not trying! Have you tried opening with “Hello”? Apperently that leads to orgies.

To be fair…most of the general population are indeed suckers.

Uses jet engines for power?

Welp. Guess we know what happened to the old Spirit Airlines fleet.

…stop being right!

Well…maybe he just thinks “beefing” means shoving their beef stick intothe others man hole.

If he thinks thats what beefing is, I could see why he thinks it’s gay.

I mean, he’s wrong either way, but that would explain where his viewpoint is.

Actually, I’m pretty sure his is pretty small…wait, what are we talking about?

So many people go to years of business school to get specialized degrees in very specific aspects of business.

When I was younger, I thought they must know what they’re doing.

Since then, in the past 20 years I’ve watched so many huge companies that are too big to fail, go under and cease operations.

I mean for christs sake! How the fuck does SEARS go under???

For any Gen-Z people who may not be firmiliar with Sears, I want you to imagine if you get to age 40, and Amazon just stops existing and goes out of business. Personally I think SEARS in its day was bigger than Amazon is now. You used to be able to buy HOUSES from Sears.

So now I’m older, and I realize one thing. These businessmen with all their degrees and training and world of knowledge don’t know the simple fundamental basics of business.

Step 1) Sell a quality product for a reasonable price.

Thats it. There is no step 2. You can try all day to fidget with the numbers, and raise prices, and shrink portions, and decrease quality. All you’re doing is nickle and diming your customer base. You’re destroying any good reputation you once had. You make an extra 5% profit on that singular sale…and then lose a customer.

I once worked at a hotel. Every week this guy would come in, and rent a room. He barely used the room. Housekeepers always said it was like 5-10 minutes of cleaning (as opposed to 30-40 minutes). He always paid his room for the night in cash. And never was a problem. I charged $60 a night, which was on the low side for our hotel.

One day he comes in as the owner is with me. He decides to check in the regular. He tries charging $90, and demanded a credit card to be put on file for incidentals. Which is a rule we apply to most guests, but we know this guy isn’t going to be a problem. I told the owner we don’t need that for him, and he’ll pay $60.

The owner argued, so I backed out. Then he and the guest got into an arguement. He didn’t pay the $90, he never came back.

I told the owner “When I run my shift, I make sure these housekeepers are providing clean rooms. I make sure the maintence man is on call to fix any break downs. I make sure on my end the computers are functional, and I pass these guests through the checkin process with speed and efficiency. All while doing my best to make you the most money. The tools at my disposal are selling a quality product for a reasonable price. That may sound boring to you. I’m not maximizing profits on short term sales. I’m retaining regular customers through company growth and hospitality. Now I can’t do much to make this hotel any higher quality, but I can at least satisfy the reasonable price aspect and try to retain repeat customers. But if you come in here and argue with customers, and run your company with a short sighted mentality, you’ll run your hotel into the ground.”

He argued with me. And thats when I knew I couldn’t stay there much longer. I immediately started looking for a new job. I think a month later I left.

Within 2 years the city shut the place down because they failed a city inspection. Instead of saying “Yes, ok, I’ll fix the violations”, he instead decided to argue with, and threaten the mayor. Which is when they just straight up shut the property down. He paid 2 million for the property. I know for a fact he didn’t make that money back. Then argued with a mayor until he threatened her, which resulted in him losing any chance for a profit.

Now for the kicker.

That story happened in 2019. Just last year the Cleveland Browns announced they were going to build a new stadium. That stadium would be built on land that was on the other side of a highway from where this hotel was.

Meaning, in 2029, once the stadium opens, you could walk out of your hotel room, walk to the end of the property, walk under the highway bridge, and now you’re at the stadium. No need for a cab ride, it’s a 3 minute walk.

During football season, he could be charging $400 per room, per night, and still be sold out.

Or, maybe the Haslams (owner of the Browns, and also will be the owners of this stadium) would maybe want to buy his hotel. He could have sold it for 20 million. He could have had a highly profitable hotel which is sold out every weekend during football season.

Instead, he took a loss. Because every businessman right now wants to direct the world around them with ego and stuborness.

Just sell a quality product, at a reasonable price. You can use that as a baseline to grow your business.

“Our competitors only have 1G; we have 5G. Don’t you want to have the most Gs? We have the best Gs, no one has Gs like us. Don’t settle for inferior Gs, call today!”

Sounds like a commercial for that trump phone.

As a mod for the Enshitification you hate to see Enshitification in any form.

As a mod of Fuck_AI, I’ll make an exception in this one case.

COMMENCE THE ENSHITIFICATION!!!

Which completely goes against my Enshitification mod mindset, but here we are.

So…nobody told me life was going to be this way…

clap-clap-clap-clap

You just described the entire stock market since the dawn of currency.

AI is just the newest buzzword.

Ha ha! Thats what you get for supporting them financially.

I remember in the 80s when I was 5 years old, I’d spout off all these crazy ideas, and say how one day we’d get these things.

My parents disregarded everything I said as rubbish.

Today most of what I said is just common shit that doesn’t even seem futuristic. You’d think I’d be happy to be validated.

But it’s a monkeys claw situation.

I said that one day you’d be able to get McDonalds delivered to your door. Wish granted. It cost 4x the normal cost, comes to you an hour later, usually cold and soggy, and theres no way to know that your driver wasn’t snacking on your fries. Monkey paw curl.

I said that you could watch tv on the go. Wherever you are. Now, at the time, it’s possible that portable TVs existed. I was 5. They didn’t exist in my world. I knew nothing of them. So from my perspective, they didn’t exist. Now you can watch your favorite tv shows, or news, or sports, or movies, or whatever. Live or pretaped. Anywhere. But you need 5 different services, each costing a shitload, and each constantly raising prices. Monkey paw curls.

I also said you would be able to answer your front door from anywhere in the house using video screens and cameras. I was envisioning those security cameras you see when you walk into walmart. When you see yourself on camera. I was imagining that, but on your porch, and a TV/camera in every room with a button to answer the door. Well thats real. The video quality is way better than I imagined. And you can actually answer from anywhere in the world. But also these cameras are linked together, spy on people, and contribute the death of privacy through a police state network of corruption. Monkey paw curls.

Which makes me genuinely terrified for one of the only ones that hasn’t come through yet.

I imagined a paralell dimension with an exact 1:1 clone copy of everybody in our world. Except there’s a massive wall that runs the line of the equator. And every single clone person is shackled to that wall naked. And I could visit anytime I wanted, and torture people until they agreed to be my friend. But they’d have to stay chained there, because otherwise they’d leave me, like everyone else.

I was a weird kid. But how do you monkey paw THAT ONE???

I think the main thing here is that it’s Canada.

Here in America, we have several states where it’s legal. We also have cops that care more about having authority than serving the law. So they don’t give a shit.

None of this makes sense!

With 3G, we had clearly defined speeds, and what constitutes 3G.

4G mostly defined itself, but it left a bit of grey area.

Then 5G was posting speeds slower than 4G’s top speed. There was never a defined speed range. The term 5G is nothing more than marketing. It means nothing.

I haven’t even heard of 6G, but given how shit 5G’s handling went right from the start, I assume 6G has to be inserted anally.

Well that escalated quickly!

But what about the F? Is it pronounced like phhhh, or like ffffff?

Prior to Rodney King, I don’t know any white people who believed police treated black people differently.

Even after Rodney King, most white people treated that as an isolated incident. Much in the same way the McDonalds shooting of '76 was an isolated incident (at that time).

It wasn’t until roughly 2015 that most white people I know began to realize “Ooooooh, the police actually REGULARLY beat and kill non-white people???”

And it came as a shock to them. Whereas every black person I know has known this was always the case. Like…just since this country was founded.

And you’re right, now with cameras in every pocket, and the internet serving as a video distribution system, there’s no possible way for white people to deny it. Because now, like you said, there’s so much corruption, and so much documentation, that it’s like “where do you even start???”

And as you’re wondering that, 10 more heinous acts are all being comitted at the same time.

This is the world we live in…for some reason.

In the 1990s, ellen degeneres had a hit sitcom on ABC. Then she came out as gay. Pepsi, among other advertisers threatened to pull all advertising from ABC.

So ABC cancelled a show with decent ratings purely because she was gay.

Now, today we know that ellen is a piece of shit for OTHER reasons, but that wasn’t known in 1996. This was a move based purely on Pepsi and others not wanting to be assosiated with a gay person on their tv.

Now for the kicker. Ellen had some support, but it was not a majority. The majority of people at that time celebrated ellen getting removed from tv.

If that happened today? A beloved tv star being removed from tv because they were gay? I think it would have even bigger backlash than CBS is facing right now over Colbert, and 60 Minutes. Back then? America gave the thumbs up.

Ironically enough, I think being bi would have been MORE accepted in the 1880s.