She violated his consent. Romantic consent is a type of consent just like sexual consent. Obviously violations of romantic consent are not even remotely as serious as violations of sexual consent. It’s something that’s extremely rude, not an act of violence that does lifelong damage. But romantic consent is still something that is not OK to violate.
Examples of violations of romantic consent:
You go to what you think is a job interview, but it inexplicably turns into a date.
You show up for a dinner among friends, except they arranged ahead of time to have everyone but you and another person leave shortly after the start. You agreed to a dinner among friends, they turned it into a date without asking you.
You agree to the date, show up, and they completely ghost you.
You go to a date, but instead of participating in the date, they don’t talk to you and are just on their phone the whole time.
People have the right to consent to what kinds of romantic situations they get involved in. If you tell someone you’re intending one type of interaction, and you completely change it without informing them? That is a deep violation of romantic consent. Again, as some people struggle with nuance, this isn’t anywhere near as bad as violations of sexual consent. Violating romantic consent doesn’t mean you’re a violent criminal predator. It does however mean you are an asshole.
What this woman did was the romantic consent violation equivalent of stealthing.
She violated his consent. Romantic consent is a type of consent just like sexual consent. Obviously violations of romantic consent are not even remotely as serious as violations of sexual consent. It’s something that’s extremely rude, not an act of violence that does lifelong damage. But romantic consent is still something that is not OK to violate.
Examples of violations of romantic consent:
You go to what you think is a job interview, but it inexplicably turns into a date.
You show up for a dinner among friends, except they arranged ahead of time to have everyone but you and another person leave shortly after the start. You agreed to a dinner among friends, they turned it into a date without asking you.
You agree to the date, show up, and they completely ghost you.
You go to a date, but instead of participating in the date, they don’t talk to you and are just on their phone the whole time.
People have the right to consent to what kinds of romantic situations they get involved in. If you tell someone you’re intending one type of interaction, and you completely change it without informing them? That is a deep violation of romantic consent. Again, as some people struggle with nuance, this isn’t anywhere near as bad as violations of sexual consent. Violating romantic consent doesn’t mean you’re a violent criminal predator. It does however mean you are an asshole.
What this woman did was the romantic consent violation equivalent of stealthing.