A guy goes to pick up a girl for a date. She’s not ready yet, so he sits down in the living room, where her dad is reading the newspaper. Their dog wanders in and settles down by the guy’s feet. Suddenly he has a powerful need to fart, but he’s afraid to do it with her dad in the room. He leans to one side and lets just a little bit escape, as cautiously as he can, but it makes a small noise. The dad leans out from behind his newspaper and says, “Duke!” The dog looks up sheepishly.
The guy is like, “Alright! He thinks it’s the dog!” He leans the other way and lets out a bit more; this one’s a little louder. Again the dad looks around the paper and says, “Duke!”
Figuring he’s completely safe now, the guy relaxes and lets out the rest in one big loud blast. The dad puts down the paper and says, “Duke! Get away from there before he shits all over you!”
I farted with my kid’s dog under the blanket. She woke up, jumped off the bed and projectile vomited on the wall and carpet.
Worth it.
Fart joke my cousin told me many years ago:
A guy goes to pick up a girl for a date. She’s not ready yet, so he sits down in the living room, where her dad is reading the newspaper. Their dog wanders in and settles down by the guy’s feet. Suddenly he has a powerful need to fart, but he’s afraid to do it with her dad in the room. He leans to one side and lets just a little bit escape, as cautiously as he can, but it makes a small noise. The dad leans out from behind his newspaper and says, “Duke!” The dog looks up sheepishly.
The guy is like, “Alright! He thinks it’s the dog!” He leans the other way and lets out a bit more; this one’s a little louder. Again the dad looks around the paper and says, “Duke!”
Figuring he’s completely safe now, the guy relaxes and lets out the rest in one big loud blast. The dad puts down the paper and says, “Duke! Get away from there before he shits all over you!”
shit just works indeed