You’re partially correct, partially wrong about socialist democracy. The people do elect and nominate candidates. What’s highly unusual in socialism is the kind of multiparty factionalism that is common in capitalist countries, as unity and cohesiveness is valued. Both policy and candidates come from the working classes, and those that are nominated to the party usually have to work their way up to the top, from the bottom. Xi Jinping is a famous example of this, going all the way up from his local council to the top of the CPC. Roland Boer’s Socialism in Power: On the History and Theory of Socialist Governance is an excellent view on this process (though the bit on the DPRK is now outdated, in 2024 they abolished the Democratic Front previously used to select candidates, and have now begun rolling out multi-candidate primaries in certain jurisdictions).

As for your point on Yugoslavia and people wanting luxury goods and whatnot, I don’t see that at odds with Marxism at all, nor with socialism. Just because the way we live and exist shapes how we think, does not mean we suddenly become selfless paragons in socialist society. The anecdote I linked regarding the Soviet Union didn’t mean people suddenly became completely devoted communists overnight, just that the people began seeing themselves as more of a cohesive whole than people in endless competition. Further, the Titoist model is something more critiqued by modern Marxists than supported (though many still do support it and as I understand many who lived in it thought it was an amazing system).

The alternative to people’s thoughts being shaped by their material conditions is a supernatural idea of ideas being prior to matter. I don’t mean to say biology has no effect on thought, but that matter is prior to thought, and this means we may make history, but we do not choose the conditions we are born and made in. If you want a place to start with Marx, I recommend the basic Marxist-Leninist study guide I made. You don’t need the whole thing to get an idea of Marxism, just the first couple sections can give you the big picture. It’s mostly designed for reading groups and individuals who want to join communist parties to have an idea about what they are getting into.

And no problem!