Working out pays off later. Burger nummy nummy though.

Rally around me my tweakers, for we shall grab all the copper and gold this day.

Remind me in 300 years!

Release the ecoli DOOM speedrun!

I can’t because of my religion = Awesome.
You can’t because of my religion = Gobble deez nuts.

Cat illuminati: Gooood. GOOOOOD. All is proceeding as I have foreseen.

You DARE oppose the sun in its own realm!?

Oooooo, eine kleine, schmutzige Festplatte. :3

So anyway, here’s Wonderwall.

Restaurants had real time yelp reviews, but it was a wall, and the dick system was manual.

When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.

Trotsky: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!

Farmer: This sure is bad.
Mystical feline: I CAST DUST BOWL.
Farmer: …You turd!

Jeff, you’re now in sales since you killed the sales team. Yeah, actions have consequences bud.

Es ist fast Mittwoch, meine Kerle.

Real talk, it’s insane how devastated the insect population has gotten. I don’t even have one mark on my windshield from a bug, even on a long roadtrip any more.

The sky blackens with Greenland fighter jets.
(Danish Red Alert music)

Cybersecurity experts can block malware, what you need is a picture of a goat’s butthole or something technical like that.

Jesus Christ, that’s Jason Bourne’s IP address!