There’s a lot of technical answers here, but Tailscale is what you want OP. Self-hosting is only a risk if you open ports. Tailscale doesn’t require opening any ports.
Alternatively, you could set up your own VPN and forward one port to the VPN. The risk of port forwarding to VPN such as Wireguard or OpenVPN is minimal.
The risk of being attacked applies to those that port forward web traffic so it can be accessed without a VPN by themselves or others. If you don’t do that, the risk is very low.
There’s a lot of technical answers here, but Tailscale is what you want OP. Self-hosting is only a risk if you open ports. Tailscale doesn’t require opening any ports.
Alternatively, you could set up your own VPN and forward one port to the VPN. The risk of port forwarding to VPN such as Wireguard or OpenVPN is minimal.
The risk of being attacked applies to those that port forward web traffic so it can be accessed without a VPN by themselves or others. If you don’t do that, the risk is very low.