The car of the future was supposed to have pulsating LEDs, self-drive, pursuit mode, turbo boost and an reassuringly patronising personality that would scan for threats and tell you what you were doing wrong. I was supposed to have a chest and head of hair like David Hasselhoff and a rich crime-fighting sugar daddy to fund my escapades.

This is off-white nothingness inside. It leaves me cold.

Infinite margin! 🫦

Purely for entertainment value, because in reality it would be Orwellian, I’d love to hear a court try and swear in an AI agent and then listen to that agent continually perjure itself in testimony.

How would the court sentence an AI agent? What punishment could it mete out that would make any meaningful sense?

Micron CEO said they expected industry supply to improve gradually in 2028, but couldn’t predict when supply would catch up with demand.

Why would they want balanced supply and demand? Scarcity affords them a higher margin for the same output. With so few competitors there currently seems to be little reason for them to try and meet demand.

This from the guys who released New Microsoft Outlook…

Those ghouls don’t deserve beans

Be a chap and pass me a cold Marmite, would you?

You went to a Constrictive Ball Torsion appointment rather than your Cognitive Behavioural Therapy appointment.

It’s the European name for truck nuts

“I want to tell you something, but please bend over first”

Don’t ever message me again you piece of sh17.

Putting a layer just inside your nostrils to catch pollen and help with hayfever

You found the recipe? I’m still reading about how the recipe reminds them of warm summer evenings walking along the banks of the river, shortly after they adopted their rescue pup but before the birth of their first child. I’m sure the ingredients list will turn up soon.

Me personally? No.

The drones can remain airborne for about eight minutes on a single battery charge

1. Hear drone
2. Hide for 8 minutes
3. Drone evaded

This is the first I’m heading of this ‘Nord Loneliness Epidemic’

How do you get an elephant into a bikini?

1. Open bikini
2. Remove the manatee from the bikini
3. Open fridge
4. Remove elephant from fridge
5. Insert elephant into bikini
6. Close bikini

Meme was cut short.

“How’d they get the manatee in a bikini?
And is it single?”