doug

ill fuking end u

Well I must be doing something right.

I’m paying an organization that lobbies for me not to be able to do my own taxes to pedophiles.

(spoiler for The Bone Temple:

I do that too.

They’re bright white Allbirds that would get too dirty too quickly if ever I wore them outside, so it’s a bit of a mental nudge for me to take them off and put on my outdoor shoes in case I forget to do so.

…sidebar: how do I clean bright white fabric shoes? it’s bleach, right? I don’t know why I’m intimidated by the task.

too much work when b-hole’s right there

Hmm, normally I’d suggest substituting “prostitute” with “sex worker” in an effort to stress that it’s work and help get it legalized/normalized… but considering there is no work being done here… 🤷‍♂️

I mean I usually only ever need one for my recipes, so… unless you can think of a better use for ‘em… zip, bang, right up my b-hole.

We all uh…somethin’… down here, look, kid, just let me bite your arm off, OK?