You are not; but they are not really assholes. They are optimising for some outcome that they want, with inferior tools/mechanisms. Depending on age, their brain runs on emotion most of the time, logic is a distant second place.
In saying all of that…they can seem like assholes in the moment!!!
I’m weirdly conflict conflicted, I mean we are on the map, but it is incorrect.
But most kiwis are shoes off in the house.