Matrix clients aren’t great

IMO the main advantage that Matrix-Element has for normal users is the branding: Element is Element on the web, Android and iOS. (Snikket is trying to do the same for XMPP though)

Matrix is too difficult for “normal” people

Agreed. Simple user+password login to a hosted (non-matrixdotorg) server takes 5-6 pages to click through.

Matrix public rooms have a CP problem

I was spammed with racist copypasta on XMPP once too. But being in large Matrix chats guarantees being invited/messaged.

…Matrix also pisses metadata to any server it federates with, including matrix [.] org

Replication+sync is a strange decision for chats. It sort of makes sense for slower fediverse posts, but creates a lot of strange scenarios and privacy issues with chats. Also, matrixdotorg is used for key backups and vectordotim is used for integrations IIRC.

I hosted Matrix for several years. It mostly works fine, apps look consistent, bridges are nice, but is a pain in the ass in some aspects. Onboarding sucks. Data needs constant cleanup (or gigabytes of storage, even for a dozen users). Sometimes notifications are delayed hours. Sometimes images don’t load.

New Element Server Suite is more corporate-oriented, requires Kubernetes (!) to run, includes defacto mandatory services. Element X has no feature parity with Element Classic, especially calls.

I ran Snikket many years ago for a few months. But now they have smooth invites/onboarding, admin panel, and always had reliable notifications. Even bridges through Slidge. I plan to switch back to Snikket soon.

More details

Are you trying to run everything as sudo / admin? I do not recall having to type in the password that much, even a decade ago when Linux experience was less polished.