Nah, I’m just trying to save my sole - I really can’t afford to buy a new pair of shoes right now.

Well, at least it won’t be a long, drawn out death.

If the mean voice is so right, why did it let you do something “wrong” to begin with, huh? It ain’t that right - besides, hindsight is always 20-20 so it’s way too easy to be “right” after the fact.

Are you sure that’s not the median voices?

You missed a letter in “Idiota.”

So you’re telling me that when you wear them, there’s a monster in your pants - got it!

How graphic are those shirts, killer? Give us something juicy to work with & I’ll bet someone will come through.

Mmmm… tuna pockets.

Yeah, I’m aware (for similar reasons). The description I read in one article at the time sure made it sound very similar, though. Any idea what they’re doing if not that?

Unless you fall forward over your desk. Worry not, though - there’s always the possibility of going with an “out of body experience.”

Isn’t that the method used in all those state death penalty executions that kept making the news several years back for not going as smoothly as they claimed it would? You know, the method they switched to when the only manufacturer of the one of the drugs needed for the normal method started refusing to sell it to the USA?

Funny how there’s been no news about them of late, considering the current political environment… 🙄

Not until they’ve squeezed every last cent out of you they can with the least investment in maintaining your health possible. Much like any other common, readily-replaceable piece of equipment at your workplace.

Checks inside underwear

“Well, that finally explains this.”

Just don’t pee on the way up, or going back around is gonna be even messier than it ought to.

I’m not sure I wanna know which definition of “hot” you’re referring to.

Not sure if that’s supposed to be a roll bar, or a dumpster-lifting mechanism.

Finish her off by running her over from head to toe (assuming the tires are positioned normally).

Just long enough to finish the job.

There’s that meth turning on a brain’s overdrive.

Pfft! The astronaut path should be way more vertical.