That’s my breakfast smoothie.

The best wine is in boxes and they have that shiny pillow inside you can sleep on after.

Yeah she’s seven pixels.

Definitely.

Because you didn’t pick it up you lazy bastard.

If pacing yourself is five beers an hour what is Michael’s regular intake?

Oh it’s the old I don’t even see weight argument.

I’ll take a copy or three!

I think Erika Kirk is dressing in her finest couchsuit tonight.

She’s going to be the first couch by this time next year.

OP’s mom’s legs like them towers.

Posting these hot takes on twitter completely undermines the message.

Topsoil is mostly shit.

You sound like one of those boys from Sunnyvale.

Clever.

Marilyn manson’s looking pretty healthy these days.

It’s the arby’s hat.

Unless it’s mint cereal.

It alternates.

Oh my calendar has sex scheduled every Tuesday and anal on alternating Saturdays.

That’s how they make calamari.