PrimeErective

Damn, I gotta get one of those negative mortgages

I’ve got a bad case of… Diarrhea

I think what’s going on with the “torment matrix” problem is that the people who do the most heinous shit don’t usually have much imagination. When they see someone dreaming up a horrible scenario they see it as an unironic opportunity. Maybe they wouldn’t have thought of it otherwise.

More succinctly: don’t give them any ideas!

I would guess it’s closer to la-ti-byoo-layt

Just do the audio version and fuck it up as bad as you can. It’s much more lenient

Would wear that T-shirt

I see you’ve played knifey spoony before

I have states, Greg. Can you compute on me?

Aha, so this must be the inspo for the post about Disney donating $8m to Hannah Montana Linux

Procrasurbation

Why would you want whirled peas?

That makes 0% the correct answer, which means you had a 25% chance…

Kinda reminds me of the scene in The Fugitive (and also Wrongfully Accused where it is parodied) where the train derails and chases him through the woods. However that would require this guy to look like Harrison Ford or Leslie Nielsen for that to work

I like to say "“Sorry, it’s my first day!” when I screw up at something that should be easy for me as a seasoned employee

Oh good, you can put chainsaws in the wrist holes

Maybe Anne Rice, then

This is the kind of Internet censorship I can get behind. Unfortunately I can still read the name of the store though

Falafel makes your farts smelafel

I know, the average person probably only knows 2, maybe 3 distros Max

And Mint

Yes, of course Mint