I got a field promotion to project manager once and had to learn to talk like this real fast. It was so soul sucking I barely lasted a year before quitting. Juggling project goals, budgets, workers, client relations, etc left me with no time to actually do meaningful work and I just ended up hating myself because my life had become endless meetings like this one (but I wasn’t paid 10x my workers salaries).
Rockwell Retro Encabulator?
Is it me or are all 4 people the same person?
They’re all the same person for sure. I’m not sure if that person is you though.
How did you know they’re all me and not you?
It’s actually quite a skill to use so many words to say nothing at all.
That one interview where my brain shut down, because it was lot’s of words and no information.
They arent saying “nothing at all”. They are speaking on a content-disadvantaged timeline.
I stand corrected.
Are you sure you aren’t sitting?
The exact words of my QA when we had daily meetings with some consultant guy who was supposed to coordinate between us and our client for a new project.
Guy would get on the call, ask if we had any questions, and then ramble on about nothing for 30 minutes.
I think it was my client
I will 100% be using “length disadvantaged timeline” in my next planning meeting
My new estimation explanation for every story I work on.
“Without getting into the weeds, I think we need to heighten some awareness around the fact that what we’re dealing with here is a length disadvantaged timeline”
I could say that verbatim in my most pointless meetings and most people would be nodding aggressively in blind agreement and smiling like their teeth are trying to escape.
Spending 5 minutes on LinkedIn be like:
Goodness gracious this is accurate
Can someone show me how to record my nightmares to .mp4? Seems we have the technology
“With your mustaches combined, I am Captain Wifebeater!”
Dank, and bitingly accurate. I just got off but watching this video made me feel like I was right back at werk. 😔
I didn’t want my weekend to begin like that but whatevvvvv.
Holy crap! I just managed to fill six buzzword bingo cards!!
