Hello I hope everyone is well, my name is Scarlett. Please tell me where to post this if this isn’t the right place…TLDR; where can I go to calm down when I’m stressed out from noise as a transfem in rural Kansas?
I’m having stress problems at home and I was hoping for some advice. There isn’t a part of the home that is quiet when the kids are home, especially when I’m sleeping, and it’s causing stress. I’ve tried noise cancelling headphones but they are not practical and pretty meh. It would probably be better to just stuff paper towels in my ears but it doesn’t help if I physically feel the noise like stomping or banging.
I was hoping to find something I can do if I wanted to go out when I can’t sleep or I can’t calm down. The only things I can think of are nature trails or going for a drive. The problem is that it’s really hot this time of year and driving can be stressful. Drinking isn’t a good option for me, it hurts my stomach and I barely feel it even if I drink a lot, not to mention 750ml of vodka only lasts for two days by myself. I’ve gone for walks in town before but I was harassed by kids on bikes at one point and I worry if I sit at the park or something that something else bad will happen.
For context, I’m in the middle of Kansas and I’m a 25yo transfem over two years into my transition. I’m hesitant to go out but people are generally okay and I kind of pass. I’m autistic so the sounds physically bother me and I get startled and my heart rate runs out of control a lot. I used to work in the auto industry so I thought I’d be okay with the noise but I’ve been a lot more sensitive since starting hormones. The kids are from my partners (not open poly relationship) and I’m not really used to dealing with it. I had a quiet life before moving here, I’m from Colorado. I just wish I had a place to go when I didn’t know what to do with myself. A place where I don’t really have to worry about others is definitely preferable. I’m not just looking for a place to be on my phone I can do that at home.
Thank you for reading :3
Trans rights!
Is there a public library nearby? They are quiet, accepting, and they would never tolerate any nonsense, so nobody will bother you.
The library is a nice suggestion. Maybe a cafe or bookstore if those are closer to you.
May I ask how old the children are? There might be ways to set up “quiet times” in the house where everyone gets some rest or quiet activity to do for a set amount of time.
You had mentioned the nature trails and that’s probably the best bet. I used to do something similar myself. Whenever I didn’t want to go home I’d drive out to one of the boat landings (live next to the Mississippi) in my area and just sit in the car for a bit. There were often no people there and even when there were they were always doing something quiet like fishing. As you mentioned, the heat can be an issue but sometimes I prefered heat stress to home stress.
Other than that I don’t really know of any quiet area. If your city has a library then that’s a good bet but that won’t help when the library isn’t open.
a thing against heat (looks a bit stupid but i only got positive responses and some confused looks): Umbrellas with uv protection as a mobile shadow. Helps less when the air is hot but having a foldable of them is convinient for both sun and rain
by the way you say it, it sounds like the city/situation you live in is a dump and you hate it too much to bear. hate kids? maybe you miss community?
does spending your weekend chilling elsewhere far away sound appealing to you? is it really about getting away from something bad or more about getting into something cool like a new group of people?
whenever i feel like that, i will go somewhere secluded for a few hours, or stay up late for the peace. i do have things i need to get away from in the back of my mind though.
