you encourage open communication

and eventually open up with “do you have any kinks”

“this kink is kind of messed up but …”

by all means they have the right to say “no we aren’t doing that”

I know maybe you didn’t want a literal answer but like actually, you just talk about it.

kinks do come up because for instance I want my gf to be satisfied in bed also so asking is pretty normal I think

Talking about fun things to try in the bedroom, then you bring it up? It’s not that hard