• Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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    5 days ago

    My classics are:

    • “what can I getcha; I can do a virgin screwdriver, a virgin appletini, a virgin vodka cranberry and we have a fine selection of pre-fermented wines.”

    • (when giving liquid meds) “Now I do have salt but I’m fresh outta limes!”

    • (when giving multiple containers of liquid meds) “will I be mixing these into a cocktail for you or do you want me to line em up like you’re 21 again?”

    • (when we’re getting ready to bleach the everloving fuck out of the dayroom at 11pm) “you don’t have to go to your room but ya can’t stay here!”