Pro tip: If you find large mysterious eggs on a derelict space ship, ALWAYS inspect them very closely. They tend to contain some really cool stuff. Mind-blowing, transcendental best stuff ever. I’m talking, like, way too legit to be legit, feel me? If you see movement inside, be sure to place your head close to the top of the egg. You should try to smell the egg or even give it a lick.

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Cake day: May 19th, 2024

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  • If you put some slow burning rocket fuel in there, and it begins to combust one day. The inside of the safe will probably melt, smoke will ruin your entire house, but it shouldn’t burn down the whole thing.

    Actually, this brings up an interesting alternate use for an old safe like that. If your old fireproof safe is broken, or you lost the key or whatever, you could turn it into a fireplace of sorts. Just flip it the door side up, throw in some logs and a place a large pan on top. May look a bit ghetto style, but who cares as long as the wok veggies and meat taste good.